The First 90 Days: A Neurodivergent Employee’s Guide to Success

Starting a new job is overwhelming for anyone. For neurodivergent employees, those first three months can feel like navigating a maze while simultaneously learning a new language, decoding unwritten social rules, and proving yourself professionally all while managing sensory overload, executive function challenges, or whatever else your particular brain brings to the table.

You CAN absolutely thrive in a new role. But it requires being strategic, advocating for yourself, and working with your brain rather than against it. Here’s some strategies for making those critical first 90 days work.

Before You Start: Set Yourself Up for Success

Ask questions during the offer stage. Before your first day, reach out to your new manager or HR contact. Ask about dress code, parking, start time, availability of lunch options or a break room (fridge/microwave) etc, and what your first day will look like. Getting this information in advance can reduce day-one anxiety.

Request documentation in advance. If they have an employee handbook, org chart, or onboarding materials, ask if you can review them before starting. This gives you time to process information at your own pace, and to formulate any questions you may have.

Plan your logistics. Do a trial run of your commute at the time you will be going in. Figure out your morning routine. If you’re working from home, set up your workspace beforehand. Removing logistical uncertainty will help you to arrive with less stress and anxiety.

Days 1-30: Information Gathering Mode

The first month is about learning not just the job, but the culture, the systems, and the people.

Take extensive notes. Your working memory might not retain everything from fast-paced onboarding sessions, and that’s okay. Write everything down. Create a running document of questions, login credentials, acronyms, and processes. Voice memos work too if you’re unable to take notes quickly enough.

Ask for written instructions. When someone explains a process verbally, it’s completely acceptable to say, “This is really helpful, do you have this written down anywhere, or would you mind if I sent you a quick summary to make sure I understood correctly?” Most people appreciate thoroughness.

Map the social landscape. Pay attention to communication patterns. Who seems to mentor others? Who’s responsive on Slack/Teams versus email? Who is the “go to” for things like supplies, IT issues (is there a person or do you submit a “ticket” and if so, how do you do this. These things are important to learn.

Clarify expectations early. Schedule a meeting with your manager within the first two weeks to discuss expectations. Ask questions like: How will you measure my success, or what does success look like in the first 90 days? How often would you like updates from me? How do you want for me to check in with you?  What does “done” look like for projects? If applicable, how to I arrive and leave, do you need me to check in with you?

Identify your accommodations needs. You don’t need to disclose everything on day one because you don’t really know what you will need. See what the noise levels are, the distractions, how everyone is communicating, what the cadence and expectations are in meetings, etc. Once you have had a week or two in your new environment, then you can decide what you need and have those conversations. Noise-canceling headphones? Flexible hours? Written agendas before meetings? Adjusted lighting in your office or workspace?  Ask for these accommodations early versus waiting for something to become a problem.

Days 31-60: Building Systems and Relationships

By month two, you should be finding your rhythm and starting to contribute more actively.

Create systems that work for YOUR brain. Whether it’s color-coded calendars, detailed checklists, timers, or something entirely unique, build the scaffolding you need. Don’t try to adopt someone else’s productivity system if it doesn’t match how you think.

Develop a sustainable routine. This is when burnout risk is high because you’re still trying to prove yourself. Build in recovery time. If you need to decompress alone after work, protect that time. If certain tasks drain you, see if you can batch them rather than spreading them throughout the week.

Start building key relationships. Identify 2-3 colleagues who seem helpful and approachable. Ask them to coffee or a virtual chat, or if you’re not comfortable with that, try to notice when they go to the break room, and casually bump into them there. OR, another option would be to send some Teams messages to start a conversation. These relationships will be invaluable when you need context, have questions, or want to understand office dynamics. Pick people who communicate in ways that feel natural to you. If you’re comfortable disclosing, you may find advocates, and a support system that you did not expect!

Communicate your work style. You’ve had time to observe, now you can start advocating. “I do my best work in the mornings, so I try to schedule focused work then” or “I process things better in writing, so I’ll often send a follow-up email after our meetings” aren’t demands, they’re professional communication about how you work best.

Practice saying no (strategically). The eager new employee impulse is to say yes to everything. But overcommitting when you’re already managing the cognitive load of a new environment is a recipe for burnout. It’s okay to say, “I want to make sure I can give this the attention it deserves, can I check my current workload and get back to you?” If it is work you’re being assigned, you may not have the option of saying “no thank you” so set a time to chat with your manager and get clarity on priorities and expectations so you’re not overwhelmed. Getting that feedback so you have clarity can make it possible for you to take on multiple things without feeling overwhelmed.

Days 61-90: Establishing Your Presence

The final month of your first quarter is about consolidation and demonstrating your value.

Document your wins. Keep a running list of your accomplishments, positive feedback, and contributions. Many neurodivergent people struggle with self-advocacy or remembering their achievements. Having this record is essential for performance reviews and for your own confidence.

Request feedback proactively. Don’t wait for your 90-day review. At the 60 or 75-day mark, ask your manager: “What’s going well? Where could I improve? Are there any gaps in my understanding of the role?” This shows initiative and helps you course-correct if needed.

Refine your accommodation strategy. By now, you know what’s working and what isn’t. If you need formal accommodations, this is a good time to start that conversation with HR. You’ve proven yourself capable, and you have specific, work-based reasons for what you’re requesting.

Identify your growth areas. What skills do you want to develop? What projects interest you? Having a sense of direction beyond “survive the first 90 days” helps you transition from new hire to established team member.

Establish boundaries that protect your wellbeing. If you’ve been masking heavily, this is the time to gradually reduce that if possible. Sustainable success means working in ways that don’t leave you depleted. What can you authentically maintain long-term?

Universal Keys to Success

Regardless of where you are in your first 90 days, these principles apply:

Self-awareness is your superpower. Understanding what drains you, what energizes you, and what accommodations help you thrive isn’t weakness, it’s professional self-knowledge. Use it.

Clarify, clarify, clarify. If something is ambiguous, ask. “Just to make sure I understand correctly…” is a perfectly professional phrase. Most miscommunications happen because of assumed understanding.

Find your people. Whether it’s an employee resource group for neurodivergent staff, an external community, or just one colleague who “gets it,” having support makes everything easier.

Be patient with yourself. There’s a learning curve. You will make mistakes. You might misread social cues or need to ask the same question twice. That’s normal. Growth isn’t linear. Roll with the struggles as best you can (and there will be struggles), and celebrate your wins.

Remember why they hired you. You got this job because you have valuable skills and perspective. Your neurodivergence isn’t something to overcome, it’s often connected to the strengths that made you the right candidate.

When Things Aren’t Going Well

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, the fit isn’t right. Here’s how to tell the difference between normal adjustment struggles and a genuinely problematic situation:

Normal adjustment: Feeling overwhelmed, needing time to learn systems, occasional miscommunications, uncertainty about social norms.

Red flags: Refusing reasonable accommodations, penalizing you for asking clarifying questions, feeling the need to mask completely after 2-3 months on the job, there is an environment where neurodivergent traits are consistently framed as problems rather than differences. You genuinely have no support and you do not feel like you are settling or fitting in at all. 

If you’re experiencing the latter, it may not be about you, it may be about workplace culture. Sometimes the most successful thing you can do in your first 90 days is recognize that a role isn’t sustainable and start looking for a better fit.

In Conclusion

Your first 90 days aren’t just about proving yourself to your employer, they’re also about evaluating whether this environment allows you to do your best work. Success looks like finding a sustainable way to contribute your talents while maintaining your wellbeing.

You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to mask every neurodivergent trait. You just need to be competent, communicative, and willing to learn, which, if you’re reading this post and thinking strategically about your success, you clearly already are.

The first 90 days are intense, but they’re temporary. On the other side is a version of this job where things feel more familiar, where you’ve built relationships, and where you can focus more on the work itself and less on figuring out the environment around it.

You’ve got this.